"Anger is a negative experience so closely bound to pain and depression that it can sometimes be hard to know where one of these experiences ends and the others begin. There are a number of actions you can take to keep anger from eroding your life.
- First, of course, is to identify anger and to acknowledge it. Build a lexicon for your internal states. Feelings are fluid. You need to stop and capture them in a word, or else you lose them and don't know you have them.
- View your anger as a signal. It is something to be accepted as a sign that some deeper threat has occurred that needs your attention.
- Make yourself aware of the purpose your anger serves. Things that have a negative purpose are motivated by a sense of deficiency.
- Tune into the inner dialogue you customarily have with yourself. If your anger is deficiency-motivated (driven by a desire to rectify a wrong you believe was done to you), work on acceptance. Give up your obsession about the wrong. Uproot mistaken beliefs that underlie your response. Very often anger is the result of beliefs that lead you to place unreasonable demands on circumstances, such as the belief that life must be fair."
- Psychology Today
Controlling Anger
Fashion profile : Lady Amanda Harlech
Who? Muse to Karl Lagerfeld, head designer of the house of Chanel.
Brings' Lagerfeld’s visions to life. Helps with Lagerfeld’s shows. Brings an outside perspective confirming opinions or suggesting alterations.
Before Lagerfeld, she worked for John Galliano for twelve years as an unpaid muse. Before that she was still Amanda Grieve junior fashion editor at Harpers and Queen magazine. She became Lady Harlech upon her marriage to Francis Ormsby Gore, 6th Baron Harlech, in 1986, with whom she has two children but has since divorced.
Harlech has a permanent suite at the Ritz in Paris, where she keeps her wardrobe of couture dresses. Also has a farm in Shropshire.
From : Beauty and the Dirt
How good are you at regulating your emotions?
Quiz adapted from The Resilience Factor, by Karen Revich and Andrew Shatte. Use the following scale to rate each item:
1=Not true of me
2=Sometimes true
3=Moderately true
4=Usually true
5=Very true
1. Even if I plan ahead for a discussion with my spouse, my boss or my child, I still find myself acting emotionally.
2. I am unable to harness positive emotions to help me focus on a task.
3. I can control the way I feel when adversity strikes.
4. I get carried away by my feelings.
5. I am good at identifying what I am thinking and how it affects my mood.
6. If someone does something that upsets me, I am able to wait until an appropriate time when I have calmed down to discuss it.
7. My emotions affect my ability to focus on what I need to get done at home, school or work.
8. When I discuss a hot topic with a colleague or family member, I am able to keep my emotions in check.
Calculate Your Results
Add your score on these items:
3 + __ = __
5 + __ = __
6 + __ = __
8 + __ = __
Positive total __
Now add your score on these items:
1 + __ = __
2 + __ = __
4 + __ = __
7 + __ = __
Negative total __
Positive total minus negative total = __
A score higher than 13 is rated above average in emotional regulation.
A score between 6 and 13 is inconclusive.
A score lower than 6 is rated below average in emotional regulation.
If your emotional regulation is below average, you may need to master some calming skills. Here are a few tips:
* When anxiety strikes, your breathing may become shallow and quick. You can help control the anxiety by controlling your breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose, breathing deeply from your belly, not your chest.
* Stress will make your body tight and stiff. Again, you can counter the effects of stress on body and brain if you relax your muscles.
* Also try positive imagery; create an image that is relaxing, such as visualizing yourself on a secluded beach.
From Psychology Today
1=Not true of me
2=Sometimes true
3=Moderately true
4=Usually true
5=Very true
1. Even if I plan ahead for a discussion with my spouse, my boss or my child, I still find myself acting emotionally.
2. I am unable to harness positive emotions to help me focus on a task.
3. I can control the way I feel when adversity strikes.
4. I get carried away by my feelings.
5. I am good at identifying what I am thinking and how it affects my mood.
6. If someone does something that upsets me, I am able to wait until an appropriate time when I have calmed down to discuss it.
7. My emotions affect my ability to focus on what I need to get done at home, school or work.
8. When I discuss a hot topic with a colleague or family member, I am able to keep my emotions in check.
Calculate Your Results
Add your score on these items:
3 + __ = __
5 + __ = __
6 + __ = __
8 + __ = __
Positive total __
Now add your score on these items:
1 + __ = __
2 + __ = __
4 + __ = __
7 + __ = __
Negative total __
Positive total minus negative total = __
A score higher than 13 is rated above average in emotional regulation.
A score between 6 and 13 is inconclusive.
A score lower than 6 is rated below average in emotional regulation.
If your emotional regulation is below average, you may need to master some calming skills. Here are a few tips:
* When anxiety strikes, your breathing may become shallow and quick. You can help control the anxiety by controlling your breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose, breathing deeply from your belly, not your chest.
* Stress will make your body tight and stiff. Again, you can counter the effects of stress on body and brain if you relax your muscles.
* Also try positive imagery; create an image that is relaxing, such as visualizing yourself on a secluded beach.
From Psychology Today
Pureed Red Pepper and Potato Soup
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, plus a drizzle for serving
1 medium onion, chopped
1 large carrot, peeled and chopped
Salt
4 plump garlic cloves, green shoots removed, minced
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 pounds (4 large) red bell peppers, seeded, membranes removed, cut in large dice
2 teaspoons sweet paprika
1 pound russet potatoes (about 2 medium), peeled and diced
2 quarts chicken or vegetable stock
A bouquet garni made with a bay leaf and a couple of sprigs each thyme and parsley, tied together in a bundle
Freshly ground pepper
For garnish (optional):
Garlic croutons (toast thin slices of baguette and rub with a cut clove of garlic)
Slivered basil leaves or chopped fresh thyme leaves
1. Heat the olive oil over medium heat in a large, heavy soup pot, and add the onion and carrot. Cook, stirring often, until the onion begins to soften, and then add 1/2 teaspoon salt. Continue to cook, stirring often, until tender, about 5 minutes, and stir in the garlic and tomato paste. Stir for a minute or two, until the garlic is fragrant and the tomato paste has darkened, and then add the peppers, paprika, and another 1/2 teaspoon salt. Cook, stirring often, until the peppers begin to soften, about 5 minutes.
2. Add the potatoes, stock, and bouquet garni, and bring to a simmer. Add salt to taste, one to two teaspoons, cover and simmer over low heat for one hour. Remove the bouquet garni.
3. Blend the soup until smooth in an immersion blender, or in a blender or food processor fitted with a steel blade. Work in batches, and cover the blender lid or food processor with a kitchen towel to prevent the hot soup from splashing. Strain the soup through a medium strainer, pushing it through the strainer with a spatula or the bowl of a ladle, and return to the heat. Heat through, add salt and pepper to taste, and serve. Garnish with garlic croutons and slivered fresh basil or chopped thyme, and drizzle a few drops of olive oil over each serving if desired.
Yield: Serves six to eight
From The New York Times
1 medium onion, chopped
1 large carrot, peeled and chopped
Salt
4 plump garlic cloves, green shoots removed, minced
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 pounds (4 large) red bell peppers, seeded, membranes removed, cut in large dice
2 teaspoons sweet paprika
1 pound russet potatoes (about 2 medium), peeled and diced
2 quarts chicken or vegetable stock
A bouquet garni made with a bay leaf and a couple of sprigs each thyme and parsley, tied together in a bundle
Freshly ground pepper
For garnish (optional):
Garlic croutons (toast thin slices of baguette and rub with a cut clove of garlic)
Slivered basil leaves or chopped fresh thyme leaves
1. Heat the olive oil over medium heat in a large, heavy soup pot, and add the onion and carrot. Cook, stirring often, until the onion begins to soften, and then add 1/2 teaspoon salt. Continue to cook, stirring often, until tender, about 5 minutes, and stir in the garlic and tomato paste. Stir for a minute or two, until the garlic is fragrant and the tomato paste has darkened, and then add the peppers, paprika, and another 1/2 teaspoon salt. Cook, stirring often, until the peppers begin to soften, about 5 minutes.
2. Add the potatoes, stock, and bouquet garni, and bring to a simmer. Add salt to taste, one to two teaspoons, cover and simmer over low heat for one hour. Remove the bouquet garni.
3. Blend the soup until smooth in an immersion blender, or in a blender or food processor fitted with a steel blade. Work in batches, and cover the blender lid or food processor with a kitchen towel to prevent the hot soup from splashing. Strain the soup through a medium strainer, pushing it through the strainer with a spatula or the bowl of a ladle, and return to the heat. Heat through, add salt and pepper to taste, and serve. Garnish with garlic croutons and slivered fresh basil or chopped thyme, and drizzle a few drops of olive oil over each serving if desired.
Yield: Serves six to eight
From The New York Times
Too Much Cola Can Cause Kidney Problems
Results of a study published in the journal Epidemiology found
that drinking two or more colas a day — whether artificially sweetened
or regular — was linked to a twofold risk of chronic kidney disease.
But drinking two or more noncola carbonated drinks a day, they found, did not increase the risk.
The
authors of the study say more research is needed, but their findings
support the long-held notion that something about cola — the phosphoric
acid, for example, or the ability of cola to pull calcium from bones — seems to increase the risk of kidney stones, renal failure and other conditions affecting the kidneys.
THE BOTTOM LINE
There is good evidence that cola beverages can increase the risk of kidney problems, more so than noncola sodas.
A Little Alcohol Can Help You Beat a Cold
The American Journal of Epidemiology, found no relationship between the
incidence of colds and consumption of beer, spirits, Vitamin C or zinc.
But drinking 8 to 14 glasses of wine per week, particularly red wine,
was linked to as much as a 60 percent reduction in the risk of
developing a cold. The scientists suspected this had something to do
with the antioxidant properties of wine.
incidence of colds and consumption of beer, spirits, Vitamin C or zinc.
But drinking 8 to 14 glasses of wine per week, particularly red wine,
was linked to as much as a 60 percent reduction in the risk of
developing a cold. The scientists suspected this had something to do
with the antioxidant properties of wine.
From : The New York Times
Vacation checklist
Things to do before you go on holiday.
- The day you leave – don’t’ turn off the air-conditioner as mold and mildew can develop in humid climate.
- Get rid of perishables.
- Unplug your appliances - toaster, coffeemaker, dryer, radios, televisions, and phones not connected to an answering machine can be unplugged – and save electricity
- Turn off water, gas and your water heater. Turn off the water to the dishwasher and clothes washer too.
- Empty trash cans
- Lock all doors and windows.
- The day you leave – don’t’ turn off the air-conditioner as mold and mildew can develop in humid climate.
- Get rid of perishables.
- Unplug your appliances - toaster, coffeemaker, dryer, radios, televisions, and phones not connected to an answering machine can be unplugged – and save electricity
- Turn off water, gas and your water heater. Turn off the water to the dishwasher and clothes washer too.
- Empty trash cans
- Lock all doors and windows.
Tackling a hangover
Jennifer Harper-Deacon, naturopathic physician :
Your liver performs numerous vital functions in your body including the metabolism of food, drugs and hormones and is the key organ primarily responsible for the detoxification of substances like alcohol. Diet and keeping hydrated by drinking sufficient water between meals (and indeed between alcoholic drinks) are simple ways to support this essential organ. Favour organic alkaline-rich fruit, vegetables and essential fatty acids (oily fish, flax and hemp seed oil) through the week to reduce your toxic load and include some of the liver Superfoods: artichoke, with its liver purifying and protective effects (coupled with the bonus that it has a diuretic action on the kidneys); avocado, a rich source of glutathione - both the liver and kidneys have a high demand for glutathione production during the detoxification process of drugs, chemicals and environmental toxins; potassium-rich beetroot stimulates and strengthens the bowels, thus moving toxins out of the system and supports kidney and liver function and the anti-oxidant spice turmeric, traditionally used in Asian medicine for digestive disorders and liver problems. Add a teaspoon when cooking rice or millet.
As well as the alcohol itself, you may not be aware that drinks can contain other additives, which will not help your situation. BioCare's HepaGuard Forte is an excellent supplement to support your liver's ability to eliminate alcohol (£14.65 for 60 capsules). It contains protective antioxidants in the form of green tea, apple extract and alpha lipoic acid and nutrients such as methionine, taurine and artichoke to promote excretion of toxins. Take 2 capsules at bedtime (11am to 3am is the time that the liver regenerates according to Chinese Medicine).
On rising, favour hot water with the grated zest and juice of half a lemon added, can help your liver recover. Why the zest? From a scientific standing, the peel is considered to contain the highest concentrations of the phytochemicals including limonene, which helps your liver inactivate toxins and allows for their safe removal from the body. When showering, follow the old naturopathic regime of alternating hot and cold water, finishing with a blast of cold to stimulate and detoxify. Grapefruit essential oil not only has a wonderful fruity, uplifting smell that can ease frustration and tension, it has an affinity with the liver, so try the divine exfoliating Grapefruit Brown Sugar Scrub by Soap of the Earth (£16.95 plus £2.95 p&p available www.perfectlypureskincare.com).
If you have had a heavy night and intend on driving to work, I suggest that you consider investing in AlcoSense™ (£59.99 and is available from www.alcosense.co.uk), a mobile phone-sized breathalyser which can accurately measure if you are near or over the UK drink driving limit. Fresh hygiene tubes are available in packs of 20 priced at £4.99.
- The Sunday Times
Your liver performs numerous vital functions in your body including the metabolism of food, drugs and hormones and is the key organ primarily responsible for the detoxification of substances like alcohol. Diet and keeping hydrated by drinking sufficient water between meals (and indeed between alcoholic drinks) are simple ways to support this essential organ. Favour organic alkaline-rich fruit, vegetables and essential fatty acids (oily fish, flax and hemp seed oil) through the week to reduce your toxic load and include some of the liver Superfoods: artichoke, with its liver purifying and protective effects (coupled with the bonus that it has a diuretic action on the kidneys); avocado, a rich source of glutathione - both the liver and kidneys have a high demand for glutathione production during the detoxification process of drugs, chemicals and environmental toxins; potassium-rich beetroot stimulates and strengthens the bowels, thus moving toxins out of the system and supports kidney and liver function and the anti-oxidant spice turmeric, traditionally used in Asian medicine for digestive disorders and liver problems. Add a teaspoon when cooking rice or millet.
As well as the alcohol itself, you may not be aware that drinks can contain other additives, which will not help your situation. BioCare's HepaGuard Forte is an excellent supplement to support your liver's ability to eliminate alcohol (£14.65 for 60 capsules). It contains protective antioxidants in the form of green tea, apple extract and alpha lipoic acid and nutrients such as methionine, taurine and artichoke to promote excretion of toxins. Take 2 capsules at bedtime (11am to 3am is the time that the liver regenerates according to Chinese Medicine).
On rising, favour hot water with the grated zest and juice of half a lemon added, can help your liver recover. Why the zest? From a scientific standing, the peel is considered to contain the highest concentrations of the phytochemicals including limonene, which helps your liver inactivate toxins and allows for their safe removal from the body. When showering, follow the old naturopathic regime of alternating hot and cold water, finishing with a blast of cold to stimulate and detoxify. Grapefruit essential oil not only has a wonderful fruity, uplifting smell that can ease frustration and tension, it has an affinity with the liver, so try the divine exfoliating Grapefruit Brown Sugar Scrub by Soap of the Earth (£16.95 plus £2.95 p&p available www.perfectlypureskincare.com).
If you have had a heavy night and intend on driving to work, I suggest that you consider investing in AlcoSense™ (£59.99 and is available from www.alcosense.co.uk), a mobile phone-sized breathalyser which can accurately measure if you are near or over the UK drink driving limit. Fresh hygiene tubes are available in packs of 20 priced at £4.99.
- The Sunday Times
Fast, Healthy Breakfast Ideas
- Fruit and Cheese : Grab an apple, wrap 1 to 2 ounces of Cheddar in plastic, and toss 1/4 cup of fiber- and protein-rich walnuts into a resealable plastic bag.
- Peanut Butter Waffle : Instead of dousing a whole-grain or bran toaster waffle in syrup, cut the sugar and boost the protein and fiber by spreading it with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter. You can also sprinkle on 1 tablespoon of raisins, sesame seeds, or extra peanuts for even more fiber, which helps deliver the meal's nutrients slowly and steadily.
- Plain Doughnut with Chocolate Milk : A plain cake-style doughnut is usually a better choice than a bakery muffin. At Dunkin' Donuts, for instance, an old-fashioned doughnut has 300 calories, while a corn muffin has 510 calories. Add fiber by eating 1/4 cup of almonds or dried fruit. Instead of coffee, try 8 ounces of low-fat chocolate milk.
- Strawberry Shake : In a cocktail shaker, combine a packet of vanilla or strawberry instant-breakfast powder (look for the no-sugar-added kind, such as Carnation) and 1 cup of low-fat strawberry cow's milk or soy milk. (You can also mix this the night before.) If you have time, use a blender to add strawberries or a frozen banana, for extra fiber, and a scoop of protein powder, such as GeniSoy Natural.
- Morning "Pizza" : You could have a slice of last night's pizza in the morning (it's preferable to filling up on sugar or skipping breakfast). Or you could try a more sophisticated spin: Take a slice of crusty bread, spread it with 3 tablespoons of low-fat ricotta, and add tomatoes. Finish with a drizzle of olive oil (about 1 teaspoon) and a little salt and pepper. Broiling is optional.
- Egg McMuffin : Yes, you read that right. If you must eat fast food in the morning, get an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's. At 300 calories, it's not an outrageous meal. Plus it has a good amount of lean protein from the egg and the Canadian bacon. To trim empty calories, remove the top half of the muffin. For additional fiber, add a fresh orange.
- Cereal "Sundae" : A bowl of fiber-rich bran flakes (about 1 1/2 cups) with 8 ounces of low-fat milk is nearly the perfect breakfast. Make it portable by replacing the milk with lemon or vanilla yogurt and mixing it in a to-go container. Increase the fiber and vitamins by adding 1/4 cup of nuts or fresh or dried fruit, such as chopped pecans or blueberries.
- Huevos Rancheros Rapidos : One of the most portable proteins is a hard-cooked egg, but it has no fiber or carbohydrates. So slice it, then roll it in an 8-inch whole-wheat tortilla with a piece of Canadian bacon or lean ham and, if you like, a 1/2-ounce slice of cheese. Add a tablespoon of salsa for a shot of flavor and a smidgen of vitamin C.
- Peanut Butter Waffle : Instead of dousing a whole-grain or bran toaster waffle in syrup, cut the sugar and boost the protein and fiber by spreading it with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter. You can also sprinkle on 1 tablespoon of raisins, sesame seeds, or extra peanuts for even more fiber, which helps deliver the meal's nutrients slowly and steadily.
- Plain Doughnut with Chocolate Milk : A plain cake-style doughnut is usually a better choice than a bakery muffin. At Dunkin' Donuts, for instance, an old-fashioned doughnut has 300 calories, while a corn muffin has 510 calories. Add fiber by eating 1/4 cup of almonds or dried fruit. Instead of coffee, try 8 ounces of low-fat chocolate milk.
- Strawberry Shake : In a cocktail shaker, combine a packet of vanilla or strawberry instant-breakfast powder (look for the no-sugar-added kind, such as Carnation) and 1 cup of low-fat strawberry cow's milk or soy milk. (You can also mix this the night before.) If you have time, use a blender to add strawberries or a frozen banana, for extra fiber, and a scoop of protein powder, such as GeniSoy Natural.
- Morning "Pizza" : You could have a slice of last night's pizza in the morning (it's preferable to filling up on sugar or skipping breakfast). Or you could try a more sophisticated spin: Take a slice of crusty bread, spread it with 3 tablespoons of low-fat ricotta, and add tomatoes. Finish with a drizzle of olive oil (about 1 teaspoon) and a little salt and pepper. Broiling is optional.
- Egg McMuffin : Yes, you read that right. If you must eat fast food in the morning, get an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's. At 300 calories, it's not an outrageous meal. Plus it has a good amount of lean protein from the egg and the Canadian bacon. To trim empty calories, remove the top half of the muffin. For additional fiber, add a fresh orange.
- Cereal "Sundae" : A bowl of fiber-rich bran flakes (about 1 1/2 cups) with 8 ounces of low-fat milk is nearly the perfect breakfast. Make it portable by replacing the milk with lemon or vanilla yogurt and mixing it in a to-go container. Increase the fiber and vitamins by adding 1/4 cup of nuts or fresh or dried fruit, such as chopped pecans or blueberries.
- Huevos Rancheros Rapidos : One of the most portable proteins is a hard-cooked egg, but it has no fiber or carbohydrates. So slice it, then roll it in an 8-inch whole-wheat tortilla with a piece of Canadian bacon or lean ham and, if you like, a 1/2-ounce slice of cheese. Add a tablespoon of salsa for a shot of flavor and a smidgen of vitamin C.
Coffee and honey body scrub
Ingredients
1/4 cup buttermilk
2 Tablespoons honey
1 Tablespoon grapeseed oil (olive or canola oil may be substituted)
1 egg white
1/4 cup ground coffee
2 Tablespoons wheat germ
A few drops of lemon essential oil for fragrance
Method
- In mixing bowl, combine buttermilk, honey, oil and egg white; mix thoroughly.
- Slowly add coffee and wheat germ being careful not to clot or clump. Scrub should be smooth and creamy but with slight grit.
- Allow to stand.
- Apply all over in shower or bath using a washcloth or body sponge to aid exfoliation.
- Rinse completely.
- Towel dry and apply moisturizer.
- Chill remaining scrub, if necessary.
Source : National Honey Board